52 Weeks of Positive Change – Week 13: Get Unstuck By Releasing Fear

Unstuck

The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are – Unknown

Well this quote appeared perfect since my blog has been at a standstill for a few weeks despite the promise that I would do a weekly update. As the weeks were breezing by I had periodic internal thoughts that told me I was behind and that I was not keeping my word. But excuses or fatigue kept me from moving forward. These are things we all experience. Maybe you have a lot going on in your work or personal lives that set you off track somewhere. It may not be happening at this moment but it will happen in your lifetime.

I am glad to bring a part of my own life to this blog as a way to demonstrate that we all have challenges. That does not stop me from living a positive life or thinking in a positive manner. Though, it is about improving and perfecting a strategy. Whether you are playing a sport, at the office, with the kids or on a vacation your state of mind and how you think about particular situations come down to your approach. Evaluate your internal thoughts – are they commonly negative or can you find the one bit of hope in a terrible situation. Unless you have been taught through positive parenting or some other source of positive living then likely your thought processes have some negative connotation.

Recognize when your thoughts are negative and work toward finding a gleam of hope is a challenge, but possible. Such as – Oh my I am not writing in my blog, I am so far behind, I failed by giving others my word and now all I have done will fail. Instead think of the situation in a clear and positive manner – Wow it has been two weeks without a posting, I know I have been tired and started a new job but I will wake up in the morning and give it my best shot.   Once I began thinking like the latter well here we are, I am writing.

Self-exploration is vital to curing the stuck-in-the mud feeling. You will remain stuck unless you explore why you are stuck or what the fear is of moving forward. Yes, here I go again you may think, but change takes a lot of trial and error and correcting what once worked but is now broken. Think about what may be holding you back from taking that step forward. Avoidance always has a hidden message and agenda. When you are avoiding something, fear is at the center of the decision making process. Again, fear is what robs us from happiness.

Using myself again as an example, my fear about writing the next blog included the fear of letting others down, not keeping my word and the lack of follow-through, which equated to being unreliable. After I was able to identify those fears I could effectively challenge them. Yes I did not keep my word and failed with follow-through, however, I showed my human side and openly shared what others may also experience. Recognizing my setbacks allowed me to rationalize my fear and overcome what was holding me back. You have sole control over the correct timing to make a move and only you will know when the stagnation of staying where you are is no longer effective. Listen to the internal cues and when faced with fear challenge irrational thoughts to help overcome judgments that will keep you stuck.

Today is the day to challenge the fears you have comforted and nurtured. When you feel that pit in the bottom of your stomach, sit down and evaluate its origin. Write down all those thoughts that are rummaging through your mind. Once they come to life in front of you, stare down their untruths in an effort to overcome the lies that have held you down.

Take out a piece of paper and think about a decision that has been on your mind. Jot down the negative aspects about that decision. Canceling out those thoughts could be obvious for some but for others may be a more difficult process. Using the positive people in your life could lend the helping hand that you need.

For example:

Negative thought: I want to start my own business but I don’t have what it takes.

Counteracting thought: Well I have been a manager for 5 years, I know how to be in charge.

Positive People: I remember my last 3 evaluations and my supervisor said “you are a self starter, the company has grown since you have been a manager.”

I hope this blog post was helpful when considering how to challenge fears. Get out there and make some changes and move forward. If you would like to get a notification to stay in tune with this blog please subscribe.

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Motivational Monday’s

Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out. ~John Wooden

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Wow what a powerful quote.  It is inevitable that negative things in life will happen but perspective becomes a choice.  Can you take a bad situation and find the positive part of the scenario.

For example, you get a flat tire on the freeway and are late to work.  This is the beginning of a disastrous morning – can anything get worse you add.  Well the towing company comes and fixes your tire and you are off to work.  When you get there all your co-workers were worried frantically as they heard there was a pileup on the freeway and a few people were seriously injured.  You turn on the news to find out that you were on that same freeway broken down and the mile was a mile ahead of you and happened just about the same time you travel through that area every day.  The ending of that scenario is – yes you had a flat tire but that may have been the universes way of preventing you from being in serious pileup on the freeway. 

Being able to put things into perspective and envision a lighter side of life is easier to carry than all the negative burdens experienced on a daily basis.  No matter how much you believe to be in control of things, true control is only a mirage.

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

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How easy is it to get off balance when bad things happen.  I respond, “very easy.”  Yes it is true that staying positive at first can be hard work but as time goes on positivity comes second nature.  Imagine the relief that one day the world will be tolerable and you can release unneeded frustrations.  Visualize an Olympic runner that has a shaky start at takeoff, does that impact their overall ability.  Why yes it does; may even result in losing the race.  That is why it is so important to put your best foot forward each and every day.  By doing so you are certain and confident that winning the race is right in front of you. 

The next question could be, “well how do I do that?”  Yes being positive can also be confusing but don’t allow confusion to be a discouragement.  Think of your goals and what you would like to achieve and be cognizant with each step that you intended to place it where it landed.  Even if the positivity is just a daily goal set out to firmly plant good vibes wherever you may go.  In the end the positive flair that you sent out into the world comes about from a mindful choice of changing your mind to reflect the seeds you wish to sow.