52 Weeks of Positive Change – Week 13: Get Unstuck By Releasing Fear

Unstuck

The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are – Unknown

Well this quote appeared perfect since my blog has been at a standstill for a few weeks despite the promise that I would do a weekly update. As the weeks were breezing by I had periodic internal thoughts that told me I was behind and that I was not keeping my word. But excuses or fatigue kept me from moving forward. These are things we all experience. Maybe you have a lot going on in your work or personal lives that set you off track somewhere. It may not be happening at this moment but it will happen in your lifetime.

I am glad to bring a part of my own life to this blog as a way to demonstrate that we all have challenges. That does not stop me from living a positive life or thinking in a positive manner. Though, it is about improving and perfecting a strategy. Whether you are playing a sport, at the office, with the kids or on a vacation your state of mind and how you think about particular situations come down to your approach. Evaluate your internal thoughts – are they commonly negative or can you find the one bit of hope in a terrible situation. Unless you have been taught through positive parenting or some other source of positive living then likely your thought processes have some negative connotation.

Recognize when your thoughts are negative and work toward finding a gleam of hope is a challenge, but possible. Such as – Oh my I am not writing in my blog, I am so far behind, I failed by giving others my word and now all I have done will fail. Instead think of the situation in a clear and positive manner – Wow it has been two weeks without a posting, I know I have been tired and started a new job but I will wake up in the morning and give it my best shot.   Once I began thinking like the latter well here we are, I am writing.

Self-exploration is vital to curing the stuck-in-the mud feeling. You will remain stuck unless you explore why you are stuck or what the fear is of moving forward. Yes, here I go again you may think, but change takes a lot of trial and error and correcting what once worked but is now broken. Think about what may be holding you back from taking that step forward. Avoidance always has a hidden message and agenda. When you are avoiding something, fear is at the center of the decision making process. Again, fear is what robs us from happiness.

Using myself again as an example, my fear about writing the next blog included the fear of letting others down, not keeping my word and the lack of follow-through, which equated to being unreliable. After I was able to identify those fears I could effectively challenge them. Yes I did not keep my word and failed with follow-through, however, I showed my human side and openly shared what others may also experience. Recognizing my setbacks allowed me to rationalize my fear and overcome what was holding me back. You have sole control over the correct timing to make a move and only you will know when the stagnation of staying where you are is no longer effective. Listen to the internal cues and when faced with fear challenge irrational thoughts to help overcome judgments that will keep you stuck.

Today is the day to challenge the fears you have comforted and nurtured. When you feel that pit in the bottom of your stomach, sit down and evaluate its origin. Write down all those thoughts that are rummaging through your mind. Once they come to life in front of you, stare down their untruths in an effort to overcome the lies that have held you down.

Take out a piece of paper and think about a decision that has been on your mind. Jot down the negative aspects about that decision. Canceling out those thoughts could be obvious for some but for others may be a more difficult process. Using the positive people in your life could lend the helping hand that you need.

For example:

Negative thought: I want to start my own business but I don’t have what it takes.

Counteracting thought: Well I have been a manager for 5 years, I know how to be in charge.

Positive People: I remember my last 3 evaluations and my supervisor said “you are a self starter, the company has grown since you have been a manager.”

I hope this blog post was helpful when considering how to challenge fears. Get out there and make some changes and move forward. If you would like to get a notification to stay in tune with this blog please subscribe.

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52 Weeks of Positive Change – Week 9: Create Your Masterpiece

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(photo: Alex Alemany)

Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself – George Bernard Shaw

 

This journey called life can be very confusing, trying and at times pretty painful. However, by taking on a positive outlook all those adverse feelings can be transformed into a constant encouragement meant to improve oneself. Life is a process that has no manual; there is no right or wrong way to exist aside from laws and social structures that govern our behavior. But none of those restrictions produce happiness, creativity or originality.

 

Life is a noun that requires animation and distinguishes the existing from the departed. This quote uses two animated words to describe life and discerns the difference between finding and creating. The word ‘finding’ gives the notion that a mental picture of a searched out object has been formed. Therefore, if I am ‘finding myself’ essentially I have a mental picture of someone else and I am attempting to make myself into that notion. No two people are alike and thereby my mental picture of what I am ‘finding’ will not be exact. In my opinion looking to ‘find myself’ is an automatic failure since I cannot recreate the vision of another person. Yes I can look to recreate something similar but then I would not be exactly ‘finding myself.’

 

Now lets envision ‘creating yourself.’ A creation may have a rough draft or key ‘must haves.’ However, a creation will end in a unique manner. This style is similar to ‘finding’ but has distinct differences known as personal modifications. A ‘creation’ has no definitive lines and has very vague expectations. Creations afford room for error, mistakes and redo’s. Also, those mistakes and errors become part of the unique artwork of the creation. Oversights are the blemishes that put final touches on a masterpiece.

 

Life is a specific term that defines an ambiguous process. With finer lines that easily blur provide for a happier outcome. ‘Creating’ that process puts you in the driver seat and helps life to be drawn to you rather that being on a wild goose chase trying to replicate another’s process.

 

Think about your own life process. Have you been hunting all this time trying to be like a parent, co-worker, boss, friend, and partner? On the other hand are you able to borrow traits from others who are in your life and make them your own and make them work for you? Do some personal self-exploration. I ask this important question as I have too been on the chasing end of things. I have wanted to be the best at all I do and thereby would look for the best role model in that area and then tried to replicate their efforts using my own perception. Let me tell you that didn’t work too well. Though, what I have found to work for my life is to look at a person’s motivation, relationships with others, compassion, empathy and use those particular traits to help me create my own masterpiece. Again focusing on ‘creating’ rather than ‘finding.’

 

Think in terms of a masterpiece. Do you see yourself as a replicated Mona Lisa or will you take a blank canvas, look at what angles, colors and dimensions you adore of the Mona Lisa and then use your expertise you make your own art. If you see yourself as a ‘masterpiece’ and a one-of-a-kind creation then the downfalls to life that will inevitably happen will be less overwhelming and self-destructive. Da Vinci found flaws in his own work just as we do in life. However, to the naked eye those flaws are less apparent or undetected. The author or ‘creator’ will always know the entire piece better than others but others overlook the minor imperfections. Embrace those as part of the creation; they are part of your greatness. Gather the traits you adore in others and get busy making your own work of art. You are worth it.

 

To stay posted and follow a full year of positive and uplifting ways of life please follow my blog. We can be on this road to happiness together. Enjoy your week and embrace your creativity and flaws, you are unique.