As one settles on the determination to change, acceptance must be a focal point. Meaningful change and lifelong happiness is dependent on being comfortable in one’s skin, so to speak. Recognizing that all situations in one’s life was intentional in some capacity. Whether, to open opportunities, learn a lesson or teach others a lesson; I believe all things happen for a reason. Yes, I am even referring to the negative aspects of life. That may have a few of you scratching your head wondering why would a negative experience be good for me? Well, simply put, that tragedy may have set you down to think about your own life or you may have been caught in the crossfire of teaching someone else a valuable lesson. Despite the negative connotations of the lesson one has the ability to extract what was gained, even if it appears to be buried really deep.
That for us is our flaw that must come to be accepted. Confucius really spoke to me in his quote by exposing the concept of flaws. If you remove that flaw you may suddenly change from a diamond into a pebble. For instance, remember a traumatic time in your life. That may be the death of a loved one, personal abuse, an accident, a break-up, or some other event that forever will impact your life. Now imagine that this situation never occurred. Well, it doesn’t end there, you also have to imagine that the pain diminished, the provoked thoughts after the event diminished and the lesson of that event diminished. Therefore, in some capacity the void of that life event also changes you, it must since it did not occur.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without – Confucius
Using myself as an example, what comes to the forefront of my mind is losing my sister-in-law when she was 26-years-old, just 6 years ago. I miss her dearly, her death anniversary is on February 1st. She meant a lot to me and to my children and most importantly her brother, my husband. But through her death I learned the precious gift of life that I am given. One where I am watching my children grow, something she didn’t get, her son had just turned 6 when she passed. I learned that youth is not always on your side and someone that appears healthy can be gone tomorrow. I found that it is more important to love then to resent. I also found that it doesn’t matter what is going on in one’s life if you truly care for them then they are an extension of you. I only have memories of her and what she was to me and I know that she feels the same for me. If I took back her death then I would also lose what I have learned from her death. When she died my husband and I were just getting close to God, which she had also found. Through our belief he made us strong and enduring. He was the reason we did not parish. So through her death we learned the power of God and love lasts forever, which is irreplaceable.
Sorry if you are wiping your eyes now but she was on my heart and where I really learned to accept myself and my flaws. If I see a diamond in myself then it doesn’t matter if others can only see a pebble. That is a failure in their vision not in your efforts. Flaws lie in us all, others more apparent than others but none-the-less we are not free from imperfection. Our flaws are our beauty, they make us who we are and different in our own sense. Individuality. Embrace the diamond you are and shine proudly so your flaws can distinguish you from the rest.